Did Bret Bielema have a Second Job BEFORE He Left for ARK? #Badgers #doppleganger

Nice boobs dude!

Nice boobs dude!

Is the real reason why the Wisconsin Badgers football team lost five games this year not because their head coach Bret Bielema was double-dealing behind their back to score the Arkansas job but rather because he was moonlighting as the spokesman in the new Southern Comfort commercials for a some extra cash?

At least he did a few pushups before this one was taken

At least he did a few pushups before this one was taken


I say YES! Answer me this, have you ever seen them in the same room together?

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New England 23 Miami 16 Game Notes

Tannehill Scores

Tannehill Scores

“‘Tom, 24/40 238yds 1 TD 1 INT and 4 sacks isn’t very Brady-like now is it?”

For those of you in a hurry I’ll give you the twitter-ized version: They (NE) have Wes Welker and Aaron Hernandez and we (MIA) don’t.   Miami loses to the Patriots 23-16.  That’s all you need to know in 140 characters or less.

I’ll keep going for those of you who’d like to know more.  I watched every single snap of the Miami-New England game.  Some multiple times.  On every play I asked myself, “Who more accomplished their goal during that play?”  and assigned a winner based solely on that criteria.

For the game, the Patriots won 89 of 167 plays, or 53% of them.

Miami shot themselves in the foot early.  After receiving the ball to start the game they couldn’t even execute something as simple as a ” 3 and out” on offense.  The punter Brandon Fields couldn’t handle the low snap and New England took over first and 10 from Miami’s 12.

A touchdown run by Ridley ensued.  7-0 Patriots.

On the Patriots next possession the Dolphins did a nice job of playing a “bend but don’t break” style of defense which kept this game reasonably close all day.  Aided by a holding penalty and some well-timed 3rd down pressure on Brady, Miami held New England to zero points after Gostkowski missed a 49 yard FG.

Miami got the ball at midfield but failed to do anything with it and is forced to punt.  On second down, Tannehill overthrew a wide open Brian Hartline.  It would have been a touchdown had it been completed.  This was the first of two occasions in which Tannehill showed that he struggles to hit wide open receivers.

Miami pins New England inside their own 3 and three plays later #20 Jones does a great job of covering #81 Hernandez.  He picked Brady off  it off and took s it to the house! BUT…FLAG.  Two of them actually.  Off-setting and on the return.  Miami keeps the ball but loses the touchdown.

The Miami penalty hurts them.  They wind up trading seven for three when all they can muster is a 44 yard Dan Carpenter FG.  And are lucky to get that because #33 D Thomas put the ball on the ground but #68 Incognito bailed him out and RG John Jerry got flagged for holding.  7-3 Patriots.

END of the 1st QUARTER

On the opening drive of the 2nd quarter Miami committed their second special teams turnover of the game.  On 3rd & short Miami goes all out for the punt block, missed the ball but nail the punter, 15yd personal foul, 1st down Patriots.  Awful job out of #27 Jimmy Wilson on the play.  That can not happen.

After a soft pass interference penalty on #2o Jones and some missed tackles by #25 ( I don’t know who he is and don’t feel the need to look it up) and #58 Dansby, on 2nd & G from the Miami 7 #12 Brady makes the perfect adjustment at the line and hits #83 Welker on a screen for an easy touchdown.

 14-3 Patriots and there is  a lot of time left for this game to get out of hand.

Miami gets the ball and it gets worse.  The offense goes nowhere on 1st and 2nd down.  Then on 3rd & 4 the Patriots backup LB #99 Trevor Scott dominated Miami backup (Jake Long left early with a triceps injury and did not return) T #75 Nate Garner and gets the ever valuable sack-fumble on Tannehill which Wilfork recovers (and promptly gives to Mrs. Wilfork).

Miami does a good job of holding The Pats to a field goal.  Its 17-3 Miami and not looking good.

Miami takes over 1st & 10 at their own 20.  HOLDING #80 Fasano.  1st & 20 at their own 10.  This is starting to get ugly.

FALSE START #82 Hartline.  1st & 25 at their own 5.  It’s going from bad to worse with way too much time on the clock.  It looked like things were about to get ugly…

Only they didn’t.

From there, Miami goes on an impressive 13 play 95 yard drive which ends with #17 Tannehill calling his own number and diving into the end zone off a nice play fake.  TOUCHDOWN!

17-10 Patriots.  We got a game folks.

On the drive Miami “won” 10/13 plays and had nice individual efforts by Fasano, Hartline and Bess picking up critical yards to keep the drive alive and by #68 Incognito and #51  Pouncey paving the way for them.

New England takes a knee to end the half.  They go into the locker room with a seven point lead but the game very much still in doubt.

New England gets the ball to start the 3rd quarter but goes three and out.  On 3rd & 3 #55 Misi gave a superior effort by taking on not one but two blocks to set the edge and force NE to punt.

For the rest of the 3rd quarter Miami and New England trade punts.  On a critical 3rd down #91 Wake got his 10th sack of the year which knocked Brady and the Patriots out of field goal range.  And on a just as critical 3rd & 14 for Miami #15 Bess turned what looked to be a sure 1st down into punt.

I don’t know what #15’s problem is but I am not impressed with him at all.  I have never seen a WR who catches the ball on 3rd down short of the sticks more often than he does.  It’s like he is allergic to first downs.  Between the drops, not being on the same page as his QB and plays like this which are all too frequent, I’m done with him.

3rd quarter ends with New England leading 17-10 but deep in Dolphin territory with a 3rd & 1.

Which NE’s #81 Aaron Hernandez converts.  Only fitting, he had the catch on 2nd down to set up 3rd and short then he finished it.

Trouble.  NE has it 1st & G from the 2.

But wait.  Again, bend but don’t break.  Sacks by #20 Jones and #55 Misi book ending a 2nd down Welker drop in the end zone (nice pressure by #98 Odrick may have played a part in that) and all of a sudden the Pats have to settle for a FG.

20-10 New England and if you believe in moral victories, Miami’s defense just scored a huge on there.

Miami gets the ball on their own 20 and goes on another impressive 13 play drive which ended in points.  Unfortunately they have to settle for a field goal after their own trip to the red zone.

But it is another drive where Miami left points on the board.  On the third play of the drive, from their own 33, Tannehill severely under-throws a wide open #82 Hartline on another play which could have easily ended with a touchdown instead of an incomplete pass.

The drive was highlighted by a tough 4th & 1 conversion by #33 Thomas on the NE 22.  #68 Incognito basically won the play himself by flat-out dominating Patriots’ all-world DT #75 Vince Wilfork.

With 8:28 remaining Patriots 20 Miami 13 and the Dolphins have all three of their timeouts.  It’s official, game on.

But, being the savvy veteran team they are, led by the mad scientist Bill Beli-cheat himself, New England gets the ball and all but ends the game.

They take over on their own 20 and march down the field on a 16 play drive that ends in a field goal which makes it a two score game but more importantly they strangled 7:18 from the clock and ate up all three of Miami’s timeouts AND the two-minute warning.

With only 70 seconds remaining, Patriots lead 23-13 and a two score game means Miami chances of winning are all but over.  But they do make it interesting until the bitter end with two big “chunk” yards completions to the sidelines.  They muster a FG to make it 23-16 and ensure they at least cover the spread as a 9pt underdog but that’s all.  New England easily recovered the onside kick attempt, game over.

It was a loss, a tough one at that but there were some positive things to come of it.

For Miami #55, #96 and #20 all had exceptional games to lead the defense.  I thought the Incognito-Wilfork battle was pretty even and very fun to watch.  Wilfork dominated early but Incognito did a nice job of battling back and did some dominating of his own.  The Patriots entered the game having given up only 15 sacks on the year and the Miami defense got to Brady a season high four times.  

Click to watch the full game highlights here.

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Week 12 Notes

Who the hell is Jordan Cameron?

Is there a more useless play in the history of  fantasy football than a touchdown pass from Brandon Weeden to Jordan Cameron?

Regarding the Cleveland-Pittsburgh game, day after, who’s glass is more half-full-er? The Browns for beating the Steelers? Or the Steelers for only losing by six in a game which they turned the ball over eight times AND Charlie Batch started?

Speaking of Charlie Batch, to me, he feels like he’s the epitome of  Daniel Tosh’s joke about Brett Favre and NFL players sticking around  until they’re 70 just to keep collecting a check.

Good win for Miami but Tannehill is still way too casual throwing the ball on the run.  It’s bothered me all season and it almost cost the Dolphins another game.  He got very lucky to get bailed out on a a very questionable roughing the passer penalty.

If you’re looking for a good RB go pick up for the fantasy football stretch run and are lucky enough to play in a league which Daniel Thomas is still available, then the first thing you should do after reading this is pick him up immediately.  His time share with Reggie Bush is legit, no worse than 50-50, plus he gets redzone carries.

Jared Odrick has  my favorite sack dance in the history of the NFL.

Awful job of play-calling on those 3rd and 4th & 2 plays down 18, early4th quarter.  Forget the obvious about doing the smart thing and taking the field goal there to make it a 2 score game.  The smart thing to if you need two yards and have Adrian Peterson

is to have Christian Ponder give the ball to him and not roll out with it.  Especially if you got two chances.  He leads the league in rushing yards and total yardage and you don’t give him one touch

Turkey Day Football Notes

  • Brandon Moore’s butt meets Mark Sanchez’s face

  • In case you missed it, on Thursday night the Jets proved they only need 53 seconds to lose an entire football game.
  • Stat of the Day: Brandon Moore’s ass had more sacks then the entire Jets defense.   Sanchez hits the hole, hard.
  • The Jets and Patriots played the funniest game of football I’ve ever seen.  The Jets have comedic timing that is surpassed maybe only by the 3 Stooges.  They can’t even fumble right, the ball goes flying through the air.
  • Looking for a fun game to play with your buddies?  Watch the Jets-Patriots game and drink every time they say the name of a former Miami Dolphin player. You’ll be wrecked by halftime. Donald Thomas leads the way, drink.  Clyde Gates checks into the game, drink.  Lex Hilliard is the starting fullback, drink.  Offensive coordinator Tony Sparano has his hands full, drink.  That’s special teams coach Mike Westhoff, drink.  Rob Ninkovich gets the sack, drink. Welker for 14, Welker for 9, Welker for 16, drink, drink, drink.  Welker gets brought down by Yeremiah Bell, drink double.
  • Every time i watch RG3 play i remember that he is better than i think he is.  Are there better examples of quarterbacks who do “more with less” than he and Andrew Luck?  There are question marks and rookies all over both of their offenses but somehow they get it done.
  • On the other side of the coin, is there a better example of a quarterback who does “less with less” than Mark Sanchez?  I get it, your team sucks, deal with it, I’m sick of hearing about it.  What those rookies are accomplishing with their offenses puts your argument to shame.  Great QBs find a way to make it work, inferior ones use it as an excuse.
  • Just because the play would have been reviewed (and thus overturned) if Jim Shwartz had not violated the stupidest rule in the history of the NFL does not let the referees from the Lions-Texans game off the hook.  Both the runner’s elbow and knee touched the ground.  It’s inexcusable that the refs missed that.
  • So far this NFL season we have seen two touchdowns scored which have ultimately decided games that everybody watching  knew was not a touchdown except for the employees of the NFL.
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Charges Dropped Against Adrian Peterson

The resisting arrest charge against Adrian Peterson from a July 7th incident outside a Houston area night club has been dropped.

This is good because, in Texas, the punishment for resisting arrest is death by electrocution plus firing squad then they hang you, and I really need AD alive and well for the fantasy playoffs stretch run. (Seriously, screw the money, my league has a trophy, that’s all I want.)

But on a serious note, when these “star athlete arrested” stories first happen, they’re breaking news. Then when the outcome is like this,charges dropped, the story is  nowhere near as sexy, so it gets treated as less than an afterthought, more of an unwanted obligation really, and that annoys me.

Other than his bone crushing handshake, I’ve never heard anyone say anything even remotely negative about Peterson so his name being cleared should be news.

On a side note, am I the only one who finds it fishy when someone is arrested for resisting arrest and that’s it? Shouldn’t there be another charge accompanying it in which you originally resisted and so the police charged you with both?  Could you imagine what that conversation would be like?
“Hey you’re under arrest.”
For what?
“Nothing”
Okay then bye.
“You resisted, now you’re really under arrest! Fool you!”

read the full story here on ESPN

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That’s My Boy

So i just got back from seeing Adam Sandler’s latest, That’s My Boy, and i gotta say, it didn’t suck.   I set the bar real low, 3 being the over/under for total laughs because i was fully expecting it to be another 90 min abortion ala Click, 50 First Dates, Jack and Jill etc, but it easily surpassed that within the first 10 minutes.  I’d say it was at least no worse than Mr Deeds and probably a lot funnier.

That’s My Boy had a very late 90’s Happy Madison feel to it.  If Sandler was still the box office god he was then and this movie came out somewhere between Bulletproof and The Waterboy, then it would have been a must see which you and your buddies couldn’t stop quoting for weeks.

It’s got the familiar type of story, grown up, loveable loser, immature slacker type who is basically good underneath it all and trying to straighten himself out and do right by somebody he loves.  But instead of it being Drew Barrymore or some other hot blonde, this time it happens to be his now estranged son (Andy Samberg)  that he had back in the 7th grade with his uber-hot math teacher.  Just like any Sandler movie the story is really just a convenient vehicle to cram in as many dick, blow and hand job jokes that can fit in a 90 min movie as possible with a bunch of f-bombs sprinkled in.  But that is what Adam Sandler does best, so it has a very familiar feel to it.

If you are like me and there was a time when every single Adam Sandler movie was a “must see’ then you should check That’s My Boy out.

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@nhl @nhlshanahan @espn_nhl – I want an answer that actually makes sense regarding the Boyle no goal

Why was the obvious Brian Boyle short-handed goal with 8:28 left to go in the game not a goal, even after it was reviewed?  I want an answer that makes sense.  The referee clearly blew the whistle well after the puck had crossed the line.  So far all the explanations I have heard involving words like “intended” “lost sight” and “interference” are absolute garbage.  Are you seriously trying to tell me that at any time the refs can waive off any goal they want with an explanation that is as simple as “I blinked at the wrong time and intended to blow the whistle earlier then I obviously did, even though I clearly didn’t”?  Smells like garbage to me.

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Josh Beckett is a Prick

http://scores.espn.go.com/mlb/recap?gameId=320510102

If there is one thing that this unabashed Yankee lover can identify with the rival Red Sox fans is the general hate/disdain of Josh Beckett.  What is this guys problem?  He is another elitist-prick douche bag professional athlete who just does not get it.  For the 2012 season he will make $18,750,000 or roughly more than everyone who ever reads this blog post will  in their lifetimes combined.

I want to call attention to one sentence he made during the post game press conference after his stellar (sarcastic) 2.1IP 7R performance last night regarding his recent golf excursion the day after he was scratched from a start with a sore back, “We get 18 off days a year, I think we deserve a little bit of time to ourselves.”  Are you fucking kidding me?!  Only 18 days off a year?!  What planet does this moron exist on?  As a professional athlete he gets 6 months + 18 days off a year, minimum.  But wait, Beckett is a starting pitcher, not a position player, so he actually only participates in approx 30 games a year (29 after skipping a start with a sore back that was not too sore to interrupt his off day plans).  Sure he might still be expected to show up in uniform and attend the game on days when would rather be out with his friends drinking beer, playing video games and eating fried chicken but, oh wait, he still does that too.

As an aforementioned Yankee fan I can not wait to see how this plays out.  We have only seen the tip of the iceberg here, things are going to get a whole lot uglier before they get better.  We’ve only scratched the surface.  Think I’m wrong?  Look at it this way, the fans actually cheered Bobby Valentine last night when he left the dugout to give Beckett the hook marking the first time Bobby V has  ever gotten cheers from the Fenway faithful.  If we are lucky there will be a trip to the DL in the near future and then the sparks will really fly.  I think I’m gonna grab myself a bucket of  the Colonel’s extra crispy, a couple of cold brews, sit back and anxiously watch as the rest of this soap opera plays itself out.  CAN’T WAIT!

PS . Sorry about the F-Bomb Grandma

PS PS.  Grandma if you know what a douche bag is then I’m sorry about that one too

Below is where you can find more audio from his post game press conference

http://youtu.be/fhG679PyfXU

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#Sports Rant

I want to start off by giving a big FU to the NFL for assuming that I have 3 days to devote to watching people’s names get called out on tv. 80% of whom I’ve never heard of before and probably will never hear again. This new draft format is awful and anyone who tells you different is just a whore to the NFL that thinks they (the NFL) crap gold.

New York Knicks

With Baron Davis and Mike Bibby as your PG’s, I don’t expect you to actually beat the Heat but I do expect progress, so this is my challenge to you: stay competitive. Prove to me that you belong on the same court as Miami. Steal the next road game, take the series back to The Garden tied 1-1 and give your fans at least the illusion of hope. Then win one game at home to reward the patience of your fan base who have watched you under-perform since 1999. Do that and consider it progress and the season a success.

New York Yankees

Michael Pinieda out of the year with a torn shoulder = worst case scenario realized. How the hell did you let the Seattle Mariner’s hose you like that? Who are you, the Mets? Here are some direct quotes from GM Brian Cashman, “Right now our hopes and dreams for this player are in jeopardy” and “This is a massive decision gone wrong right now.” If I consulted my Magic 8-Ball it would read outlook not too good.

Phil Hughes. I’m done with you. I don’t know what the problem is and nor do I care anymore. I can’t wait for your banishment to the bullpen so you can toil in your own squalid mediocrity out there. You are destined to be the answer to a trivia question and just a footnote in Yankee history, nothing more.

New York Rangers

If you want to continue participating in the 2012 Stanley Cup playoffs then at some point your goal scorers (ie Gaborik, Richards etc) are gonna have to start doing their job and put the puck in the back of the net.

Damn, Kreider looks like he’s the genuine real deal.

And finally (for the Rangers), all hail The King!

Miami Dolphins/Jeff Ireland

By taking the best quarterback available, Ryan Tannehill, at the eighth spot instead of the best player available, you proved to me that you have no idea what you are doing and are clueless when it comes to reading/manipulating a draft board. Simple question, if you don’t take Tannehill at 8 then who does and when? I contend he wouldn’t come off the board until Cleveland at #22.  If you were dead set on selecting Tannehill then at least you should have moved down a few spots to take him in the early to mid-teens and pick up a couple extra picks in the process. And don’t give me some BS about not having a partner to trade with because with all the shuffling and wheeling and dealing that went on in the first round I dont buy it for a second. If you couldn’t find someone to trade with on Thursday that means you didn’t try.

With the 8th pick I would have taken whoever was rated as the best overall player available instead of just the best QB. Whether it was Luke Kuechly or Michael Floyd or whomever. Then, if I really believed Tannehill was that good, I would have traded back into the first round somewhere between 9-21 and drafted him there. I’m thinking next years 1st, this years 2nd and one of the extra 3rds from CHI would be a fair price. Think of it this way, losing next years 1st is a wash because you’ll have two this year. Essentially you’re using next years pick now. And a 2nd and a 3rd is a small price to pay for a player who you deem to be a “franchise” quarterback, plus you’d still have your own 3rd rd pick. All you did on Thursday is prove that I know more about then NFL draft then you do.

You are not good enough, nor do you have enough elite top-tier NFL talent on the roster to be drafting players based on “need’ rather than “talent.” That is a luxury which only teams who are the proverbial “one player away” (like NE, PIT, GB) can afford. Right now the Miami Dolphins are one player, at EVERY position, away from being good.

More Draft Notes:

Best value pick: SD taking DE Melvin Ingram at #18. He fell that far only because teams were concerned his arms were “too short”. What a bunch of draft combine driven garbage. That’s the same type of nonsensical player evaluation logic which led to hall of fame players like Jason Taylor and Zach Thomas falling to the 3rd and 5th rds respectively, while workout warrior scrubs like Mike Mamula and Vernon Gholston became million dollar busts that left the Eagles and Jets looking like idiots. This guy is going to be a stud and make anyone who passed on him for that reason look like a moron.

Worst pick of the first round by a team not based in Miami: Seattle #15 DE/OLB Bruce Irvin. Talk about red flags, high school drop out, done jail time and arrested as recently as last month. Seems as if  Pete Carroll is still recruiting the ghettos just like he did at USC.  Most teams had him rated as a 3rd rounder.

Best draft party: Whitney Mercilus #26 Houston. Check out the video below. In addition to the girl who nearly flashed her hooch to the world, look behind the couch and notice how he basically surrounded
himself with hot white and Asian broads. Well done.

http://youtu.be/SBvK9mS5cOc

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Thoughts: Secret Service prostitution & Photos show troops with corpses

Above are headlines for two stories regarding actions of US service members abroad. To sum them up (i’ll include links to them at the end) up to 21 US personnel (mixed secret service and armed forces) are alleged to having basically a hooker party at their hotel in Colombia while they were awaiting the arrival of the President.  And separately two-year old photos have surfaced of US military personnel posing with the dead bodies failed suicide bombers who accidentally blew themselves up.

Now i am not saying that I agree with nor condone the actions of these men but I am saying that I am not qualified to sit in judgement of them and neither are you (for the most part).  I’m not advocating what these men did, nor am i trying to excuse their actions,  but their actions will be investigated and they face potential punishment for their behavior, which I have no problem with, so long as the trial is held in a court of law and not that of public opinion.

Until you have picked up a rifle and traveled to a hostile country where people want to murder you based on where you were born or what gods you pray to and have to live/work/exist along side people that call you friend/ally by day then try to murder you by night, and as the days apart from you loved ones turns into months and the months years, and you after you’ve seen friends you call “brother” die right in front of you then, and only then, will you be qualified to have an opinion that counts on these matters and be outraged by their actions if you choose to. But until you have walked a mile in their shoes, and then some, shut up and let them be as the process plays out.

Until you have been there, done that, seen what these men have seen and been through what they have been through, then you, and i, are unqualified to act judge, jury and executioner for these men.

If you have a problem with the way these service men conducted themselves to the point that you feel “outraged” (or some other type of inflammatory rhetoric that gets used in these situations) to the point that you feel something needs to be done about it, and are calling for some type of swift, severe punishment to be levied against them, and for people to lose their jobs or go to jail, then i have a simple solution to your problem, get off your ass, pick up a rifle and go do it yourself.

These men live in a world where every minute could be their last and, unless we have been there and done  that, then you and I are not qualified to judge how they choose to blow off some steam and deal with that kind of stress  and we should not  judge them based on our own personal morals.

Two thoughts on what led to these stories becoming national headlines.

In regards to the soldier that turned the photos over to the press because as the LA times put it, they pointed to a “breakdown in leadership and discipline that he believed compromised the safety of the troops”, I will not be a hypocrite and presume to judge your actions.  But i would ask, based on what you said your reason for turning the photos over to the LA Times was, did your actions accomplish your goal?  Based on the current state of affairs in Afghanistan did your actions accomplish what you intented them to do?  I am not saying the soldier is right or wrong here, I just hope he is being truthful and honest in regards to the motives behind his actions.

And in regards to the hooker party, this only came out because one of the guys refused to pay for services rendered and the girl wound up calling the police. That’s just dumb. Doesn’t he know you have to always negotiate the terms up front? I bet in retrospect he wished that he had just given the girl whatever she asked for.Furthermore, if didn’t you know that if something like this were to come out, even if it happened while you were “off-duty”, even if you paid with your own money in a place where prostitution is legal, that it would look really bad and , to put it lightly, be frowned upon by your superiors and in the court of public opinion in general. then that’s just awful judgement and maybe you shouldn’t be trusted with the responsibility your job entails.

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-afghan-photos-20120418,0,5032601.story?page=1&utm_medium=feed&track=rss&utm_campaign=Feed%253A%2520MostEmailed%2520%28L.A.%2520Times%2520-%2520Most%2520E-mailed%2520Stories%29&utm_source=feedburner

http://start.toshiba.com/news/read.php?rip_id=%3CD9U76FGO0%40news.ap.org%3E&ps=1011&_LT=MNEW_LARSDCCL2_UNEWS

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