Why, how could this happen, why?  I have the same questions as you do.  But i don’t care about the answers, looking for such is an exercise in futility.  What could be said that could ever rationalize something like this?  Nothing, absolutely nothing, its impossible. Regardless  i will be haunted by visions of something ive never seen before.

Its the kindergarten class at Sandy Hook Elementary…any kindergarten class really.

Can’t you see it?  The horrible juxtaposition of the before and after?  The walls all decked out for Christmas?  The tree, the count down to the big day on the bulletin board.  A room filled with excited, sweet, kindergartners on their absolute best behavior so as to not hurt their spot on Santa’s list?

At their age, we all knew when the calendar page turned to December it meant that it was time to be on our absolute best behavior.  No matter what happened the other eleven months of the year, December was a time for being good, like it counted double.  We sat down, shut up, raised our little hands and ate our peas without being told because we knew we had a years worth of bad behavior to make up for and only 25 days to do it.

Can’t you see the tiny little table and chairs so small to a comedic level?  I could do nothing else but sit in one of them, fold my hands, drink my milk and have you laughing for hours.

Can’t you see all the imperfectly perfect green and yellow pictures of dinosaurs adorning the classroom walls?  And if it wasnt a dinosaur then it was a perfect little house, with a pointed roof, two windowst and a happy little family holding hand in the front yard with a dog obediently by their side.

Cant you see it?  See it all, when school, and life, was all about fun?   When you learned your ABC’s, got a toy from the box, drank some chocolate milk then took a nap?

That was the before.

What will haunt me is the vision of that same classroom after this atrocity took place  The scene of the crime in that same classroom, which  could have been in Anywhere USA where 20 lives were ended before they ever had a chance to live.  The sight of that tree overturned as if it was empathetic and cognizant of the events which transpired around it.  The idea of 20 tiny bodies lying motionless on the floor and the carnage which surrounded each and every one of them is what will haunt me.  The sight of the aftermath of evil incarnate.

Mans capacity for evil which took place in Newtown CT today, thats what will haunt me.

Personal Notes:

There will always be more questions then answers.

Here is a personal message to every member of the media which stuck a microphone and camera in front of a student of Sandy Hook Elementary:  Today, that childs’ innocence was stolen from them and you exploited it.  I don’t care why you did it, you are an awful human being and i hope you’re happy with yourself.  And for what reason?  So they could tell you what every sane, rational human being already knew, that it was chaotic, scary and noisy inside the school?  I hope the price of your soul was worth the ratings it brought your station as much as  i hope your vile, repugnant actions today keep you awake at night for the rest of your life.  You are part of the problem.  I’d rather be homeless than you. Integrity counts.

Days like today teach us how precious a second can be and how meaningless our wallets and Xbox’s are.  Take the time to say the things   you want to but never have to the ones you love while you still can.

Days like today make me sad to be a member of the human race.  Man’s capability for violence against fellow man knows no depths nor boundaries. Atrocities like this, as well as the Aurora shooting, Virginia Tech and Columbine, never happened before they happened once and now its a part of life.  Sick.

I don’t believe in god, but days like this  makes me wish i did just so i could say FUCK and YOU to him when it was my turn to meet him

And lastly, but maybe most importantly, to Principal Dawn Hochsprung and the rest of the staff at Sandy Hook Elementary, thank you. Heroes walk among us every day but unfortunately we don’t usually realize it until its too late.  You are everything that is right in this world and the debt of gratitude which the human race owes you will probably never be paid in full, but i hope it is.


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